Happiness is Expensive
Moving my body to the beat.
Out of my head into the moment.
Waving my arms to that Justin Bieber song.
Not carrying how it looks.
The corners of my mouth stuck
in the upward position.
It’s Saturday night and I’m dancing with my girlfriends in Antwerp.
Laughing and moving: there’s no other place I want to be at the moment.
In fact this whole day couldn’t be more perfect. In the morning I taught a class to a bunch of great people, after I met with my family, to continue with an inspiring afternoon with one of my teachers and good friend and a dinner party where my belly literally ached from laughing so hard.
This dancing is just the cherry on the cake really.
I feel grateful as hell.
And then I spot them: the pink words in neon lights, shining proudly down at us from the wall: “HAPPINESS IS EXPENSIVE”.
This. quote. has been chosen for the neon lights.
Out of all the quotes in this Pinterest era.
I’m too curious to know what the intention behind it was.
Should I buy that expensive cocktail to get the fun started?
Or would that fancy top from this season’s Vogue make all the difference?
Maybe I’ll just rent this place next time. And why not have some limousines to drop us here.
How great of a night would that be?
I feel like it’s so easy for the publicity guys these days. Now that all our basic needs our fulfilled, they jumped on the wagon of selling us “happiness”. There’s a big deal of not feeling we’re enough the way we are. Right now. No, the next buy will make us more complete. Or, well, the one after that. Until we realize that -surprisingly enough- happiness is not to be found outside of us.
It’s already there.
On the dance floor with my friends.
Happiness for me is noticing how the last years of self discovery are paying off.
It’s feeling how I’m less self conscious now than I was as a sixteen year old.
So I can dance like no one’s watching,
in the company of friends who accept me as I am.
It’s in unlocking the door to my creativity.
It’s falling more in love with myself each day.
And that way seeing the love that’s right in front me.
Seeing it in the eyes of my family, my friends, my students, in the helpful waiter, in the old couple at the super market.
Realizing it has always been there.
And that it starts with the feeling of “I’m enough”.
The dance of happiness
is inside of you.
Please don’t buy the neon lights.